tavern of the dead

everclear and orange juice

Wed, 28 May 2008 03:10:09 GMT

i got a credit report today. thousands. i don't recognize the biggest charge. it's a credit card fully loaded with 3000 in debt. i'll have to challenge that. the rest are medical, utility, and store cards from the ex period. there are also credit lawyer fees. man, i didn't do anything, and i have mounds of debt. as my ex was walking away for the last time, she let me know she hated men and loved to make them suffer. i guess so.

i have a piece of popcorn hull stuck between my tooth and gum that elbiesee, girl child, and i cannot remove with a toothpick. it hurt until i drank everclear and orange juice, and pooled it in oral numbing fluid.

people who don't like jack johnson are just afraid to cry. damn you jack johnson.

and thank you jon stewart, for the good times

women help us

Sun, 25 May 2008 03:51:14 GMT

i work with a man who is around 400 pounds. until recently , he was a very bitter man. he had a great call time and transfer record at the call center because his callers just wanted to get off the phone. he's losing his lead because he's losing his attitude. he's been rescued by a girl. our supervisor played musical chairs with us, and big guy was set next to a young beautiful fertile girl. she oozes femininity and sexiness. she dresses in light cotton tight clothes. her cotton underwear peeks out from the back, while her bra radiates from the front. she smiles, laughs, and strikes poses next to the big guy. the big guy smiles constantly in her presence. she loves to talk with him and told him how grateful she is to have the same schedule as he so she can talk with him every day she works. the man no longer walks with a scowl. he now wears a face of bewilderment as if he's seeing the world for the 1st time

there is a new girl at work. she looks like scarlett johansson, but she's incredibly clumsy and shy. i thought if she met the gaming crowd, it'd do everyone involved some good. i looked across the room today and saw her talking to the gamers. my connection to the group saw me looking and gave me a cheesy grin. we then shot each other with imaginary cool guy guns

i copped a buzz

Thu, 22 May 2008 05:04:40 GMT

i got my mullet trimmed by a girl who refused to change the country radio station. her boss, the only other worker in the supercuts, said "she wants to be a country bumpkin" i explained to the girl the cut i wanted using the example of hal sparks. she didn't get it, so i mentioned chris gaines. i had to explain who played chris gaines. she replied "garth brooks aint country". so her boss told her what to do. she then got a phone call which went along the lines of "whadja go an do that fer, idjit?" her boss took over until she released the call. she cut some more on my hair while her boss made me sniff product. the whole process took about 5 min. i was told to come back within the week if i didn't like it and get it redone for free. i then found out supercuts raised the price 5 dollars. well, the hair on my forehead was drivin me nuts, so i went back in a few days. the same girl was the only one in the shop. she told me to come back in 30 min. i came back in 30 min. she didn't remember me and told me to sign in again. she then told me it'd be about 30 min. i came back in 30 min and she didn't remember me from 30 min ago. i then showed my receipt and reminded her about me asking her to change the radio station. she finally remembered me and said, "you're the guy who kept changing his mind about what he wanted, and it took 2 of us just to make you happy". i then let her know i'd like my hair cut shorter for free since it's under warranty. she replied "you gotta be kiddin me. that's a whole other style. you gotta pay 15 bucks" i turned around, headed for the door, and proclaimed, "i'll just go shave my head"

i've been out of the closet a while

Wed, 21 May 2008 13:36:52 GMT

i was helping out a lady over the phone. she's 60 something and has finally picked a career. we have a lot in common. i've studied many things and have nothing but the experience to show for it. while jumping from interest to interest, i befriended many hoodlums, as no respectable person wanted to hang out with a jack of all trades. my life was both enriched and drained by my friends. i have what seems to be strange memories compared to the majority. my lady friend said, referring to her own life,"if i would have been in a closet all my life, time would have passed just the same".that line helped me embrace my circus past.

i'm down to 2 friends, elbiesee and our daughter. normal people still avoid me. although they don't mind being entertained by me. i can't afford to befriend the wild crowd as i now have a family to shield. i'm still out of the academic closet though. the last thing i'm thinking about is how to rise higher in my current company. my thoughts have been drifting back to c++, art, and music. thank you lady on the phone for the gust

thomas edison didn't invent the light bulb

Mon, 19 May 2008 04:44:28 GMT

thomas edison patented the light bulb. thomas drunkard edison wanted everyone to believe he was the hot shot on the block. he discredited nikola tesla who went with ac to power our homes. edison's dc investment and his ego drove his campaign. today, no one mentions tesla, a prolific inventor and scientist. everyone references edison. it's a metaphor for the powerful. it is the way it is because they want it that way. the government is here, and they're not here to help. the corporations do not have your interests in mind. money keeps religion a reality and not a fairytale. we've been fooled again and again

i was promised a piece of cake

Mon, 19 May 2008 01:10:13 GMT

i work for a company that works for a company that is considered by conspiracy theorists to be 1 of the 3 most evil companies in the world. it's not evil, it's just stupid and lazy. the policy is to get customers off the phone as quickly as possible and to avoid transferring customers to where they really need to go. these are the criteria our raises are based on. my company has also implemented bonuses regrading these performance criteria. mama company is worried because it has a very low customer service rating, and it can't figure out the shot in the foot. we're also required by a separate department to stay on the phone with the customer until the customer's issue is resolved and offer to transfer to the correct department. this is another part of our bonus and raise. ok, you can clearly see the contradiction, but 2 huge companies cannot. hmmmmm.

well, it's all gonna go to hell anyway as mama company has introduced 3 new reasons to transfer customers. we're also expected to learn mama company's crappy software in 3 days so the corporate reps can take weeks off as a company to learn the new (and also crappy) software that we had a few days to learn. then they're off to earn more than we, get the perks we don't, and get commission we don't. we do get trinkets to reward us for showing up, as our show rate is horrible.

my life in the bush of ghosts

Sat, 17 May 2008 03:10:56 GMT

lately i've been listening to some vintage electronica on my usb stick mp3 player. i'm rotating jarre and kraftwerk. it brings back some of the deepest fall leaves moments of my past. it even causes me to daydream as if i'm 15. the thoughts flow fast and thick. seconds turn into minutes, and my mind lives.i go back to a time when programmers were everywhere. magazines concerning programming and circuit boards competed at the news stand. we played bookshelf games, d&d, mastermind, and pente

mad money

Fri, 16 May 2008 01:14:32 GMT

why are there angry wealthy people? they demand things, they curse, they boast of their superiority before stomping off to their offices leaving the tasks of demanding things, cursing, boasting of their superiority to their secretaries who refer to the angry wealthy as mister or missus or doctor grumpybottom. with all that money, you'd think they'd be happy hoots.

i sleep with 8 pillows

Thu, 15 May 2008 13:35:27 GMT

i'd been sleeping with 2 pillows - one for my head and one for my back. i had an idea to sleep with more pillows since i'd take elbiesee's pillow and comforter and pile them under me if i had the bed to myself. i bought 3 pillows cheap. twas a very nice sleep. i instantly got the position i wanted as if i'd been arranging pillows all my life. elbiesee noticed my satisfaction and got 3 for her. she was unable to benefit from them, so they wound up on my side. now the pillows are construction blocks for dreaming. they become intricate club houses, castles, malls, amusement parks, etc... yea, i know the description is crazy, but such is the nature of dreaming

i sleep in the corner, so i can use the walls to contain the pillows. i can also wrap up in my comforter and lean against the wall for added dream texture. sometimes i wedge my encased leg between the wall and the bed.

i still wonder what it would be like to have a room sized bed

without question

Wed, 14 May 2008 14:22:28 GMT

yay! my request to join lj the question club was declined. elbiesee is always reading me excerpts, so i thought i'd put my 3 dollar bill on the reply. i love to tell people how they're looking at it wrong. i wouldn't wanna be a member of a club that would have me as a member anyway. scuse me, i need a tissue.

i work for idiots. they are clueless about making a company work correctly. unless i conform to idiotic non-productive standards, i can't rise up to change anything. it's frustrating to work for people who blindly tow the line. then they kick back and laugh about tv shows while we slave. i know they need me because i somehow manage in their broken system. the masters leave me alone for the most part. if they have anything to say, it's scripted and i just ignore it.

a lawyer in the boonies

Tue, 13 May 2008 01:07:11 GMT

i got a letter today about my latest garnishment. it's for150.00. the letter is from a lawyer in a local town i'd never heard of. i called and got the bad cop. he lightened up once he realized i wasn't trying to dispute anything. it's the final payment toward what i was paying on which turned out to be anesthesiology and not a sears card. the guy said something about having to reapply. it sounded weird, but my company bought it so it must be true. anyway, the law guy had an addy for me that sounds like the one my ex moved to before she divorced me. well, i managed to keep her from stealing my car, but she stole my mail. i was too depressed and conquered to deal with the mail anyway. i was a MESS.

oddly, i'm in collections. we're friendly though. we love to work with people. in-between calls, i practice card manipulation. is THIS your card? there's also a site with games with a name that resembles the company's name but isn't really a company site that hasn't been blocked by the company. which is surprising because they block their own sites from us. they seem to be hiding the news from us. perhaps it's too controversial. it seems like they must know we visit the pseudo site as the pics for the games "bathe jessica alba" and "raw meat or p*ssy" won't load. i like the tangrams

patooie

Mon, 12 May 2008 01:55:06 GMT

haha! i have to send a copy of my driver's license to get my credit reports, and the zip code is off by 1 number. all i ever wanted to do was live on a commune and bang on the drum. i never meant to get this entwined into society.

and, i took the train into grunty industries for the 1st time and didn't open the entrance door before i quit. now i'm locked out and the train is locked in. seems the only ways around this are to buy a gameshark or start over. i wonder if rare had a little laugh knowing this would happen to some. i'll have to rotate through other n64 games so it won't be too boring for my daughter and me starting over.

deeper and deeper

Sun, 11 May 2008 19:10:52 GMT

well, my financial advisor, elbiesee, tried to view free credit reports for me online. she was told by error pages that the reports had to be sent thorough the mail. apparently my credit is really messed up. she kept getting told that someone took out a mortgage in my name in 2002. i certainly didn't. i'm in for a world of fun with debt counselors and lawyers. i have a feeling that most the debt will stem from my ex and her drug dealing friends. have i mentioned that DRUGS ARE A BAD IDEA?

anyway, i just called the hotel and reserved rooms for our vacation. by the time one pays the fees for the booking services, it's just as much as calling the hotel. and, because i called the hotel, i was able to secure a room overlooking the pool and not the service station. there is also a piece of roller coaster track that goes right by our room. that service station holds a fond memory. last vacation, i bought wine there right after we arrived. i got back to the room to find i'd bought the classy wine with a cork. i went back to the store and stood in line with a cheap plastic screw. a young man in line told me to put it back and follow him to his car. turned out he worked for a corkscrew manufacturer. he opened his glove compartment and handed me a posh multipurpose opener

btw, i like to start sentences with "and,". and, i also like the acronym "btw"

momentarily noobistic

Sun, 11 May 2008 00:44:17 GMT

hey

seems like i'll post a lot of frustrations. i usually don't share them. i instead turn brick walls into comedy. sometimes it's almost inappropriate. sometimes....almost.

today i was told i look pregnant when i lean back. i laughed. the girl stated that it wasn't a good thing. ironically she's rather large in the thigh area. i know she thinks she's worshiped, but she doesn't know it's in the mesopotamian fertility goddess way. big girl is beautiful, but she still looks fat in those pants.

i've recently become obese. in 5 years cohabitional bliss, i've gone from 190 to 250. i'm 6'1". if i keep the weight and turn it into muscle, i'll have the build of a pro wrestler/entertainer. however, i kinda miss the skater boy thing i had goin on. anyway, my more organized half, elbiesee, is going to be my fat loss drill sargentina.

i'm currently waking up to the massive debt i have due to me signing for credit cards for my ex to use. kids, did you know they can just take those mistakes right out of your paycheck? it's very handy. i've also got a 4,000 + whatever interest and fees have applied by now medical bill from when my ex locked me out of the house and laughed at me through the door window. guess what my arm did! silly angry arm. anyway, the moral here is...DON'T DO DRUGS!!! she was an endless supply of weed and i was an endless toker. i was gullible and insecure. i was a doormat.

anyway, i like the word "anyway". i'm also fond of the word "just" and sometimes have to go through something i've written just to remove the enormous amount of instances of "just"